The Prince and the third class warrior
by Ringo1
Summary: Goku and Vegeta switch bodies! Now they must find the dragon balls and wish themselves back. Can they do it without killing each other? UPDATE: Changed chapter 11 to remove offensive content.
1. Default Chapter

THE PRINCE AND THE THIRD CLASS WARRIOR

BY RINGO

CHAPTER ONE

Goku and Vegeta lay under the stars several yards away from their children. Gohan was intently reading a book before the fire as Trunks and Goten wrestled inside the tent where they were supposed to be asleep. Taking their sons on the occasional camping trip was the single most peaceful thing for the two adult super Saiyans to do these days.

"Wow, aren't the stars beautiful tonight, Vegeta?" Goku sighed, his large eyes fixed on the sky.

"You know as well as I do, Kakarot, most of them are planets, not stars." Vegeta snapped, rolling his eyes at his friend's feigned ignorance.

Goku turned to his surly comrade and smiled, scratching his head, "Oh yeah, guess I forgot."

Vegeta sighed, casting his sinister eyes back up at the expansive universe. Goku studied him for a moment before joining his gaze to the sky once more; it was obvious Vegita was thinking of the past. He sure gave up an exciting life of travel for his family on Earth.

A streak of light flew across their eyes. "Wow a shooting star!" Goku exclaimed, pointing ecstatically at the flying ball of gas. "Make a wish Vegeta!" Goku closed his eyes tight and whispered a wish under his breath.

"That's so foolish Kakarot, how old are you, five?" Vegeta growled, crossing his arms over his muscular chest. Goku frowned at his friend. Both Saiyans rose to their feet and walked slowly back to the camp site.

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Gohan woke up early, surprised to still be curled up in front of the fire pit, which was now a pile of faded ashes glowing dully in the dawn. He stretched, picking up his book and putting the marker in place before shoving it back in his backpack. Gohan flew off to get more wood for the fireplace, careful not to wake his sleeping father and Vegeta.

Goku awoke from a peaceful sleep when he sensed a rise in his son's ki. "Uhg, I feel funny." He complained inwardly, stretching his arms above his head and craning his neck from side to side until he achieved the desired number of pops. He scaled the horizon and saw Gohan using energy blasts to chop firewood. He smiled proudly as he watched his son. Goku turned to see if Vegeta was awake yet but recoiled in terror as he saw the person lying next to him was himself.

"What the-" He gasped, shocked to hear Vegeta's raspy voice escape his throat. Goku looked at his body and was startled to find himself in Vegeta's outfit. "Omigod." He shook the body he recently had inhabited with vigor.

"What?" Vegeta yelled in Goku's voice as he awoke. He immediately clasped his hands over his mouth in alarm and then almost screamed when he found himself face to face with himself. He looked at his body, examining the orange and blue colors. "I'?" he questioned himself, "What the f-"

Vegeta suddenly found himself being flown through the air in his own arms. Goku put his body down once a safe distance from their sons. "Kakarot?" Vegeta, questioned himself. Goku nodded gravely. "What the hell is going on?" Vegeta demanded in Goku's voice, "Why have we switched bodies?"

"I don't know," Goku whined, making Vegeta's former voice sound more pathetic and innocent than it had ever sounded before. He collapsed to the ground chewing on his bottom lip while Vegeta stood with his hands folded across his chest, making Goku, or rather Goku's body, look much more menacing than any foe ever could have accomplished. The two sat in bewildered silence before Goku gasped and then proceeded to look guilty.

"What?" Vegeta demanded, glaring threateningly at himself.

"Well," Goku said, looking at his feet, which, as it turns out, weren't his at all, "I sorta wished that I was more like…you, last night. Maybe my wish came true. Even though you said it was juvenile, maybe it worked."

"You what?" Vegeta snarled, frightening the now smaller Goku, "Why?" Vegeta glared at his former self and watched in horror as Goku made his bottom lip quiver. "Oh god, don't start crying now!" Vegeta scolded, "You're going to make me look soft!"

"I'm really sorry 'Geta." Goku cried softly in his new, deeper voice. "Why don't I just sit outside tonight until I see another star, I'll wish us back."

Vegeta put his hands on his hips and glared, "Do you know how rare it is to see a shooting star from this wretched planet! I can't believe this!" Vegeta scowled in Goku's body, angry at how ridiculous he sounded.

"I know!" Goku piped, wiping probably the first tears ever to fall from the other saiyan's eyes from his cheek, "We can find the dragon balls and wish ourselves back to our normal form!" He clapped his hands.

'That could take us anywhere from two weeks to two years IF we find them all!" Vegeta rumbled. "But I guess it's better than staying up at night waiting for a damned shooting star to fly by for you to wish on." Vegeta rolled his eyes. "We're going to have to keep this a secret until then. That means NO CRYING, or whining, or any other of your overly emotional weaknesses! Got it?"

"Okay." Goku answered meekly which made Vegeta want to scream. "Well, since were laying down the rules, no swearing or being a jerk. Oh and you have to be nice to Gohan and Goten. And you can't be mean to Chichi."

"Hmph," Vegeta said, "And you better keep your hands off Bulma if you know what's good for you! Oh and.."

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By the time Goku and Vegeta returned to the camp site it was midafternoon and their three boys were happily eating lunch. Goku and Vegeta were now well prepared, or so they thought, to meet back with their loved ones once again. Tomorrow they would begin the search for the seven dragon balls.

"Hey Dad, hey Vegeta," Gohan greeted a bit angrily, "Where have you guys been all morning anyways? I would have come to find you but I had make sure these two stayed here."

Gohan was a bit surprised when his father simply rolled his eyes and Vegeta apologized, "Oh sorry, Gohan, we musta lost track of time."

Both Vegeta and Goku gave each other glares of disapproval before Vegeta awkwardly turned to Gohan and said, "Sorry Gohan, your- er...Vegeta and I were talking. What do you guys want to do today?" It was hard to pretend to be Goku.

"Are you all right daddy, you sound kinda angry?" Goten said with his mouth full of sandwich.

"Uh, yes, umm small one, I'm not mad at all, just a little...er...tired," Vegeta said, patting the top of Goten's head awkwardly and wishing he had paid more attention to what, exactly, the child's name was. He tried to sound less cross and clasped his hands together, mimicking something he imagined Goku would do, "So what do you guys want to do today?"

"Fishing!" Trunks and Goten replied happily in unison then scrambled for their poles. Goku and Vegeta started helping the two young boys prepare and ignored the suspicious way Gohan eyed them.

It was evening by the time the five boys returned to camp to with two large fish caught by Trunks and Goten. "Okay guys, let's pack everything up so we can be home by dinnertime!" Gohan said clapping his hands at the younger boys who seemed suddenly much less enthusiastic.

Goku and Vegeta blindly began to roll up sleeping bags and pack backpacks into the trunk of Vegeta's car. Gohan seethed as he watched, he knew something was wrong between the two, but he wasn't sure what. They spent the majority of the fishing trip talking quietly on the other side of the lake. His father was acting much more surly than normal and Vegeta was uncharacteristically talkative.

The drive home was awkward. If it weren't for Trunks and Goten's incessant singing, it would have been completely silent. Gohan once again had to wonder why Vegeta hadn't told them to shut up and why Goku hadn't joined them in singing like he usually did.

Part of the reason Goku wasn't participating in song was he was too busy concentrating on the road. Vegeta was forced to watch the ill- experienced Goku drive in his body as he clutched his seat in fear. Making it home in one piece was a surprise. Vegeta waved goodbye to the Son family as sweat began to gather on both his and Goku's foreheads. After they carried everything into the house, Vegeta left telling Goku that if he needed anything just to call. With that Gohan watched as Goku pulled Vegeta into a tight hug and whispered, "And keep your filthy hands off Bulma, Kakarot" into his friends ear.

Gohan knitted his brow in confusion and then followed Goku into the house as Vegeta and Trunks drove off.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Women are from Earth, men are from Veget...

CHAPTER TWO MEN ARE FROM VEGETA, WOMEN ARE FROM EARTH.

Goku fought with himself inside Vegeta's small body, while driving the Capsule Corp car as carefully as possible. He had really done it this time. Not only was he forced to live with Bulma's cooking for god only knows how long, he had to trust the emotionally constipated ex-villain with his beloved wife and children. Midst his brooding, Trunks climbed in the front seat and rested his head on his thigh. "Daddy?" The sound of trunk's voice brought Goku back into reality. "Do you think Mom will cook the fish I caught today for dinner?"

"Oh I'm sure she will; that's a big fish you caught, Buddy! I'm so proud of you!" As soon as he said it, Goku bit his lip, realizing that Vegeta would never say that. He glanced down, expecting to see Trunks gaping at him in shock but instead found the youngster sound asleep with his head in his father's lap. Goku stroked the boy's purple hair and smiled, looking up just in time to swerve from hitting a tree. He decided to pay attention to the road until they reached Capsule corp.

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Vegeta glanced around the Son house, feeling awkward in Goku's oversized frame. Chichi was busy cooking the fish Goten caught while talking on the phone to one of her many friends. Vegeta decided to go and see if he could change out of Goku's smelly clothes and into something less…well, less orange. Vegeta looked down the hallway of the Son's small house, three doors to choose from, one of them had to be Kakarot's chambers. He stepped into the first room to see Goten sitting on a bed playing with action figures happily. "Oh hi, Daddy!" Goten smiled. Vegeta swallowed hard and turned on his heal to leave only to find himself chest to chest with Gohan.

"Oh hello, _Dad_." Gohan said, "You look lost. Having trouble finding your room?" Gohan laughed nervously at his own question, having a hard time concealing his worry.

Vegeta looked at Gohan with his lips pursed, his mind racing. He had to remember what to say, how to act and the names of everyone. "No, of course not." He said, laughing foolishly and scratching the back of his head, his best impression of Goku. "Now if you excuse me I must get changed." Gohan stepped aside to allow his father to pass.

"That's my room, Dad," Gohan said flatly as Vegeta opened the wrong door again.

Feeling his blood boil, Vegeta thought quickly for a response. "Uh, I know! Son. I was just checking to make sure it was clean. it is, very nice, good job. Keep up the good. Kiddo."

"Oh. Thanks." Gohan exclaimed, his brow in a furrow, "Are you feeling well, Dad?"

"Yes!" Vegeta demanded, a little too forcefully than necessary.

"Okay," Gohan apologized, "sorry."

"No problem. Just tired," Vegeta said—softer this time, still getting used to his new vocal chords. He walked uncomfortably to the last door left in the hallway that wasn't the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He leaned up against the door and breathed in and out a few times before fumbling for a light switch. Light flooded the room and displayed a simple bedroom outfit. Neatly arranged. Chichi kept everything clean. Bulma always seemed to be too busy inventing things to dust. And Vegeta would be damned if he was going to do that, hah, the prince of the Saiyan race cleaning and tidying things. Not likely.

Vegeta lumbered awkwardly over to Goku's dresser and searched through the rows of neatly folded clothes. It was obvious that Chichi did the laundry and the folding and putting away. Everything was arranged perfectly. He found a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. It made him feel less like a sore thumb.

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Goku, inside Vegeta's body, gently lifted the still sleeping trunks and handed the boy to Bulma who came out to greet them. "He's tuckered," the fake Vegeta said to his wife who smiled at her sleeping son. He unloaded the back of the car while Bulma went inside to lay trunks on the couch and to start dinner.

Goku entered the kitchen and stood with his hands in his pockets looking lost. Bulma turned to look at him, a small smile playing on her face. "Are you wandering? Why don't you go get changed, take a shower. Dinner should be ready when you're done." Goku was starving but he knew better than to show it. Instead he stood there and blinked at Bulma. "Vegeta, go." She urged, pushing him toward their bedroom, thankfully.

Goku was definitely not used to Vegeta's style of clothing, what was his obsession with tight fitting garb. Goku felt like he was peeling his clothing off. He dug through the closet filled with Bulma's clothes and shoes. Moved to the dresser and went through the drawers.

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"GOHAN, GOKU, GOTEN!" Screeched Chichi at the top of her lungs, "THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M CALLING YOU! DINNER IS READY!"

Gohan, Goku, And Goten all came from the bedrooms. "What have you boy's been babbling about this time?" demanded Chichi with her hands on her hips, "Didn't you have enough 'man-time' in the woods? I called you for dinner three times! When I call you I want you out here in two seconds, you hear me? And Gohan, did you get ANY studying done this weekend!" Chichi went on and on. Vegeta involuntarily covered his ears, ready to scream. He had never heard anything like it, he actually felt sorry for Kakarot.

They sat down to eat and Vegeta was shocked at the amount of food set before him. His stomach hurt just looking at it. "Daddy, aren't you hungry?" Goten asked innocently.

"Ehm, of ..." Goku said, Vegeta kicked himself, what was the blasted child's name? Goten! "Yes, Goten I am." He took a bite of the fish heaped on the plate before him and was delighted by the taste. After years of Bulma's cooking, he'd forgotten that food could taste so good. He dug in happily, not a bit worried about looking like a pig. He was Goku!

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Goku dug through several drawers of tank tops and muscle shirts before he found an old T-shirt suitable for wearing. He pulled it over his head, still dripping wet from the shower. He couldn't find the towels, he had checked everywhere. The jeans and T-shirt clung to his skin and he frowned in the mirror. Goku didn't like being in Vegeta's body, or house. He wanted to be with Chichi and the boys.

Bulma stepped quietly into the room and stood watching her husband dress. "Ya know, trunks is still asleep, Geta." She whispered, wrapping her arms around Vegeta's tiny waist from behind.

Goku began to panic, he didn't think Bulma and Vegeta were still intimate, they fought all the time. Maybe it was all a show. He wracked his brain for the right thing to say. Gingerly removing her hands from his stomach, he stepped away and turned towards her. "Uhm, is dinner ready yet?"

Bulma knitted her brow but lowered herself on the large bed behind her. She opened her blouse. "Dinner is served," she purred, "What are you waiting for? Come and get it." Goku covered his eyes quickly. Bulma was his oldest friend, he didn't ever want to see that much of her, even if he was in Vegeta's body. "What do you think you're doing Vegeta? You usually would be half way done by now!" Bulma said, her voice a mixture of astonishment and anger. Goku thought he was going to throw up.

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Vegeta also felt like he was going to throw up. He'd never eaten so much in his whole life. And he was only half way through the plate. "I'm full, boy Chichi that was great!" He declared, trying to think like Kakarot.

"you haven't eaten half of what you usually eat, Goku!" Chichi scolded, "If you don't like the way it tastes then make your own food from now on?"

Vegeta normally would have told her to shut-up but Goku would never tell Chichi anything like that. "I'm on a diet."

Chichi glared at the man she thought was her husband. "hmmm, well it's about time!" She chided, standing to leave the table, "Well, Goten it's past your bedtime and Gohan, you'd better get in there and study." Both children knew better than to complain and quickly fled the room. Chichi turned her glance back to Goku, "These dishes aren't going to do themselves, you know." And with that she left the room. Vegeta looked at the heaping mound of dishes both in the sink and on the table. He'd never washed a dish in his life.

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Bulma slammed pots and pans around angrily in the kitchen while Trunks played Nintendo in the other room. "I don't know what's gotten into you today Vegeta but I don't like it. You've said very little since the camping trip. Then you can't even look at me. What are you trying to do to me? I'm your wife not some disgusting, hideous beast. I swear." Goku hung his head listening to harsh words being thrown at him. He actually felt sorry for Vegeta. Then he remembered that Vegeta wouldn't let himself get into this situation in the first place and tried to think of what his friend would do.

"Oh shut-up woman." Goku yelled, happy that he actually said something that sounded like Vegeta. The next thing Goku knew, he was covered in rice and chopped bits of fish.

"AND YOU CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT, VEGETA!" Bulma screamed as she stormed from the kitchen with tears in her eyes. Trunks finished his meal quickly and meekly went to his room. Goku remained in the same spot, dazed, upset, and covered in scalding hot food.

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Vegeta ignored the phone for the first three rings before Chichi yelled, "Goku get the phone!" angrily from the living room. His hands were pruned and red from the dishwater and his mood was less than pleasant. "What!" He barked into the receiver.

"Vegeta?" his own voice whispered, sounding pathetic and meek.

"Kakarot?" Goku hissed, clutching the phone and ducking as far from Chichi's room as possible, "What are you doing calling me? Did you screw up already?"

"I think Bulma is mad at me." By the end of the story, Goku was in tears and Vegeta was seething as he tried to calm Goku down and scrub the gelatinous food from a frying pan.

"Listen Kakarot, you can't cry while you're me! You're going to ruin my reputation! And it's a good thing that you're sleeping on the couch anyway. Tomorrow morning we're starting the search for the dragon balls. Now go to bed and try not to insult Bulma anymore for christ's sake." Vegeta angrily hung up the phone and started to dry the dishes, cursing in every language he could think of.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Family ties

CHAPTER THREE Family ties

Goku woke up in pain. His back ached, his head throbbed, and his eyes were sore and swollen. He rolled over to place his arm around his wife and yelled out in shock as he hit the wooden floor with a thud. "Owwww." He whined, lifted himself up on his elbows and blinked, bleary-eyed, at the unfamiliar surroundings. He had fallen off the couch in Vegeta and Bulma's living room. He grumbled when he found himself in Vegeta's body. So, it wasn't a dream.

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The phone rang and rang and rang. Or so it seemed. "Goku, get the phone." Chichi mumbled pulling Vegeta's pillow out from under his head and placing it over her face.

Vegeta grabbed the phone and hoisted it to his ear in severe irritation. "Do you know what time it is?" he declared crossly into the receiver.

"Oh I'm so sorry, Mr. Son." A girl's voice meekly replied, "Is Gohan there?"

"Who's calling?" Vegeta barked, forgetting Goku's manners completely.

"Videl," She said, "Gohan's girlfriend."

"Gohan's too young to have relations." Vegeta replied, slamming the phone back onto the receiver then slamming himself back into bed. Unfortunately forgetting his pillow was now in his "wife's" possession and banging his head violently on the head board. Vegeta then said some words that he was positive Goku had never even heard of.

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Goku combed through his gravity defying hair. He always wondered how Vegeta made it stand up like that. It did so on its own. If he had thought of his own rather permanent hairstyle, he would have come up to that conclusion on his own, but being Goku, he just never thought of that. He wanted to brush his teeth but was not sure which toothbrush was his so he used his finger. He also made a mental note to buy Vegeta a label maker for Christmas so, if this mix-up ever occurred again, he would be well prepared.

Today was the day to start hunting for dragon balls. However, an even more pressing matter would be getting from the bathroom to the phone and then out the door without Bulma spotting him. Goku had always considered it a wise decision to stay on Bulma's good side, ever since he met her as a child. At this moment in time, Goku considered himself lucky to be alive. But that was okay, all he had to do was find the dragon balls, sort this out, and leave the Bulma situation to Vegeta.

Goku hopped impatiently from foot to foot as the phone rang on the other line.

"Hello?" Chichi answered.

"Hey honey!" Goku said, then clasped his hand over his mouth, "I mean, is Goku there, please?"

"What did you call me?" Chichi barked over the receiver, "Vegeta! Who do you think you are? Goku doesn't want to talk right now!"

"Oh I'm so sorry Chichi!" Goku said in Vegeta's gruff voice. "But I must speak with him right now. It's urgent."

"It can wait until this afternoon!" Chichi yelled back at the receiver.

Goku began another bout of pleading but stopped when he heard Chichi gasp and his own voice demand, "Gimme the damn phone!" Vegeta grabbed the receiver and asked, "What?"

"Vegeta!" Goku exclaimed, his voice rising higher than he'd hoped, "What are you doing to Chichi?"

"She's fine, are you ready to go?"

"Yes," Goku said angrily.

"There you go, you're finally sounding like me. Now get your ass over here and bring the dragon-radar," and with that, Vegeta hung-up the phone.

Goku looked around the room, confused. His fingers twitched and his head spun. 'Where the hell is the dragon radar?' He thought to himself. A surge of emotion rising in his throat. Goku swallowed quickly as Bulma stomped into the room. "Hi honey," he said meekly.

Bulma flashed him a glare of death and continued onto the coffee pot to make a cup. "I'm not talking to you today, Vegeta," she said crossly, "So just get out of my sight if you know what's good for you."

Goku thought for a moment, 'Would Vegeta take that from Bulma?' Goku ran from the room.

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Chichi breathed heavily from her spot on the floor where her husband had deposited her. "WHAT do you think you're doing, GOKU!" She screeched, gathering herself from the floor. Goten was sobbing and Gohan had his brow furrowed in confused anger.

Vegeta glared through kakarot's eyes and sighed. "Sorry Chichi," he said as meekly as he could muster—which wasn't much as at all.

"You should be. What's wrong with you today!" Chichi demanded, dusting herself off angrily. She was putting up a good front, but there was pain breaking through the fury in her voice. Gohan continued to glare at his father.

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Goku found Trunks watching cartoons on the floor of the living room. He seemed glued to the television set. "Hey you!" Goku said happily, startling the boy.

Trunks jumped to his feet and spun around. "Oh sorry dad! I was just getting ready to train! Really, I was!" A guilty expression filled his face and he studied his shoes.

"This early in the morning?" Goku exclaimed, laughing aloud. Trunks backed up against the wall in terror. "What's the matter, Trunks?" Goku asked innocently. It sounded strange, too strange. Vegeta would never say that. Goku let his shoulders sag. This was so hard.

"Dad?" Trunks inquired, "Is this some kind of trick?"

Goku thought for a moment. "Trunks!" He began, the boy listened cautiously, "Today we are going to practice a special kind of training."

Trunks perked up, "What is it, Dad?"

"Stealth!" His father proclaimed. "Who's the most attentive person in this household?"

"Mom?" Trunk guessed.

"Correct!" Goku said gruffly, thinking himself quite the genius, "So I'm going to send you on a mission. Let's can you go find…Let me think. Ah ha! The dragon radar. Find it without being caught and bring it back to me. Then you can go play with Goten for the rest of the day!"

"Alright!" Trunks said happily, "I'm on it."

Three long hours later Goku and Vegeta met with the Dragon radar in hand. They were agitated, angry and tired. But they still had quite a journey in store.

To be continued


	4. Discovered!

CHAPTER 4: Discovered!

Both Goku and Vegeta stood around the dragon radar and glared at the seven dots blinking on the screen. None of the dots were close together and one seemed to be moving ever so slightly, which was probably a bad thing.

"This sucks!" Vegeta yelled, furrowing his brow. "I don't even know how to work this fucking machine."

"Hey!" Goku cried from Vegeta's body, "I do _not_ say 'the F-word,' Vegeta!"

Vegeta moved his now much taller body toward Goku and starred down at his former self. "And who's going to stop me?" He demanded, feeling drunk with a sudden sense of power.

Goku felt his body tremble, being in Vegeta's smaller frame was a whole new experience for him. He was surprised to be truly afraid of Vegeta in his body. "Well no one's around right now so I guess it's alright." Goku laughed nervously, raising his hands defensively.

Vegeta smirked, a wicked grin spreading across his new face. "That's what I thought," he said smugly. "Now let's go find these stupid dragon balls so I can be removed from your repulsive body!"

Goku hung his head and shivered in his small frame. "Fine," he grimaced, "The sooner the better!"

"What are you guys doing with the dragon radar!" Gohan yelled from above their heads, startling both Vegeta and Goku.

"Gohan!" Goku yelled! Vegeta slapped his forehead in defeat. Goku was determined to blow their cover.

Gohan touched down and gave Vegeta and his father a quizzical look. "Are you guys trying to find the dragon balls? What for? What's going on between you two anyway? This doesn't make any sense at all!" Gohan had a rambling conversation with himself.

"Shut up for a second!" Vegeta yelled at him.

Gohan silenced himself and gave his father a hurt look. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's Okay, Gohan." Goku said reassuringly, glaring at Vegeta—in his body.

Gohan crossed his arms and glowered at the two Saiyan's. They stared back. "I know something is going on!" Gohan announced, "Tell me!"

Vegeta and Goku shared glances and then shrugged. "Well Gohan," Goku sighed in Vegeta's sandpaper voice, "Me and Vegeta have switched bodies. That's right, I'm Goku."

Gohan nearly fell over in shock, "Well, that explains a lot," he said, glaring at Vegeta in his father's body. "I knew you were acting funny! I should kill you for treating Mom like that." Vegeta smirked smugly and pushed Gohan away from him.

"Like what?" Goku demanded.

"There. Now you know." Vegeta told Gohan, "Now keep your mouth shut about it."

"How the heck did this all happen?" Gohan questioned exhaustedly.

Goku went red in the face, well red in someone's face, and looked away. Vegeta was happy to comment, "Your father wished upon a shooting star that he was me." He rolled his eyes in exhaustion. "Or in other words, I'm not sure yet."

Gohan wiped his brow and sighed heavily. He stared at his father awkwardly (on account of him looking like Vegeta and all) and yelled, "Why the heck would you do that?"

Vegeta scoffed, "Of course he wants to be me. Look at me, I've never had a chance to see myself like this before. Now I want to be me again more than ever!"

Gohan and Goku stared at him for a moment then rolled their eyes.

"The most important part," Vegeta sighed, "Is that we find the dragon balls and get ourselves back in our respective bodies before anyone finds out. Anyone but you of course, Gohan."

"What did he do to Chi-chi?" Goku asked Gohan anxiously.

"Yes, after spending a whole night with each other's families, I would say it would be downright dangerous to reveal it to them now. Wow, you guys would be dead meat!" Gohan laughed.

"Vegeta, what did you do to my wife?" Goku pleaded.

"Thank you Gohan," Vegeta snapped, "what would we do without you here to point out the obvious? Let's get going then."

"You guys, what happened to Chichi?" Goku cried exasperatedly.

"I'll help you find the dragon balls so I can kick your ass when you have your old body back." Gohan calmly stated to Vegeta, who was making his father's body look so evil it frightened him.

"You don't know who you're messing with, little boy," Vegeta declared evenly, "But that'll make it all the more fun when I knock your punk ass to the ground."

Meanwhile, Goku was giving Vegeta's form a look of pure innocence and frustration. "Gohan," he rasped in Vegeta's vocals, "What did Vegeta do to your Mom?" He sweatdropped in anticipation and annoyance.

"Oh nothing." Gohan said indifferently, "No big deal."

Goku fell over with his legs up in the air.

"Lets go Kakarot," Vegeta sneered, looking at the dragon radar and taking off into the skies, "and Kakarot jr," he added, a sound of self-amusement playing in his voice. Well, technically, it was Goku's voice.


	5. Into the Great Wide Open

INTO THE GREAT WIDE OPEN

Gohan flew several feet behind Vegeta and his father. He wasn't sure how to handle the situation. He knew he had to go home to his mom soon and she would wonder where his father was. Chichi always seemed to know when he was lying.

"Why are you lagging behind?" Vegeta shouted, Gohan blinked a few moments before catching up, not used to his father's voice sounding so harsh.

They flew on, Vegeta holding the dragon radar in Goku's hands, following the blinking dot on the screen. "This is going to take a long time, Kakarot." He grumbled unhappily. Goku opened his mouth to reply an apology but ended up choking and coughing as a bug flew down his throat. Vegeta erupted in a bout of uproarious laughter for the first time in a long while. Goku was happy that he could at least make him laugh in this state.

"I have to go home now!" Gohan shouted suddenly to the two men in front of him. Goku and Vegeta both stopped to turn around and look at him.

"Great," Vegeta growled, "So you're not going to help us after all. Just go home then, run to Mama." Vegeta's words didn't sound worthy of Goku's voice.

"It's okay son, go home." Goku said, his advice spoken in a raspy tone. "Tell Chichi I'm going to be away for a little while."

"And what shall I tell Mom you are out doing?" Gohan asked, getting a little annoyed by the whole situation. "That you and Vegeta are out pretending to be each other."

"No, just tell her I hate you all and I'm never coming home." Vegeta flashed an evil grin.

"Just because you look like me doesn't mean you _are_ me Vegeta," Goku scolded, "Gohan, just tell Mom I had some business to take care of, it's very important and that I will explain when I get back."

"She's going to be pissed!" Gohan exclaimed.

"Angry," Goku corrected.

"Pissed," Vegeta corrected. Gohan shook his head and flew away toward home.

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Goku and Vegeta flew side by side, directed by the Dragon radar. Both men were feeling thoroughly frustrated with themselves and each other. "Three hours we've been flying, Vegeta!" Goku cried, putting a terrible whine in the Prince's abrasive voice, "You said it was only an hour or two away!"

"Shut up Kakarot," Vegeta growled, "It's farther than I thought, we should be getting there soon though...Ah Ha! It's blinking, it could be anywhere around here now! Keep your eyes peeled, Fool!" Vegeta flew lower, sweeping the terrain, mountains and trees, impossible for finding the tiny orange ball. Grumbling under his breath and pushing Goku's obnoxious bangs out of his eyes. He was trying to find the trinket before Goku, always a competition.

Goku stayed up high, stopping and letting his eye's grange the area. A gleam in the trees appeared atop the mountain adjacent from the slowly setting sun. He swooped down to investigate and reemerged with the four star ball triumphantly in his hands, well, Vegeta's hands. "Vegeta!" He yelled happily, a strange sound indeed, "I found it."

Vegeta popped up instantly from the brush and flew towards Goku, already infuriated with goofy grin he saw planted on his face, mocking everything the royal Saiyan had recently stood for.

"Great," he snapped, seizing the glass ball quickly from Goku.

"I'm super hungry!" Goku cried, putting his hand to his new stomach.

"Bulma sure doesn't cook like Chichi does. I think we should stop and get something to eat somewhere."

"Bulma doesn't cook as much as Chichi does because she doesn't need to feed an elephant like you every night!" Vegeta yelled back, but Goku was already halfway to the nearest town so Vegeta just sighed and followed.

By the time Vegeta reached the restaurant, Goku had already ordered more than enough food for both of them. Vegeta sat down across the table and slowly began to eat. "You know Kakarot," Vegeta spat, "If you weren't in my body right now, I'd kick your ass."

"Yeah, in your dreams." Goku said quietly through a mouthful of chicken.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Vegeta shouted angrily, all heads turning towards him in the restaurant.

"I said, you have to much hostility in you, Vegeta," Goku lied.

The meal continued in silence. Actually, the meal continued with the sound of chomping, swallowing, gulping and munching. The waiter arrived with the bill, an exhausted look on his face and quickly left before anything else could be ordered. Vegeta left for the bathroom and Goku reached for his wallet, pulling out Vegeta's leather billfold. He opened it, revealing a creased picture of Bulma looking seductively at the camera while sitting on a motorcycle. Goku wrinkled his nose and turned the page to see Trunks's school picture, 'I love you Dad!' written poorly on the back. "Awwww." He cooed, and took the credit card out of the slot, handing to the waiter and smiling. He'd tell Vegeta later, he had a lot of money anyway. By the time Vegeta was back, Goku had already signed the check and left a hardy tip.

"Let's get a hotel room and call it a night." Goku said, walking down the sidewalk to the cheap motel across the street." Then we can search some more tomorrow."

"Whatever." Vegeta sneered, his voice cracking slightly, much to his disgust.


	6. City life, lord of the zings

CHAPTER 6:

"Shall I get us a room?" Goku asked Vegeta, wincing at the sound of his voice.

"A room?" Vegeta spat, "One room?"

"Well, it would be cheaper," Goku reasoned.

"Do you know who you are right now?" Vegeta asked, pointing at himself.

Goku scratched his head, confused. "Vegeta, are you pointing at you or at me right now?" Goku crossed Vegeta's eyes involuntarily, "Or at both of us?"

Vegeta rubbed furiously at his temples, "I don't know who I'm talking about, Kakarot!" He sighed, "I don't even know who I am. I just want to get some sleep. Go get us a room." He turned away and crossed his arms across his chest, spreading a hardened look on Goku's gentle face.

"One room?" Goku questioned cautiously. Vegeta swung around furiously but Goku hurried away.

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Vegeta and Goku stood motionless in the dank motel room. Their bags lay in the doorway where they were dropped. "One bed," Was all Vegeta would say. He stared at Goku, sheepishly shrugging in his body. "Wow," He exclaimed, "I've never felt so much like punching myself!"

Goku took a step back, "I'll sleep on the couch!" He said cheerfully, "No problem!"

"Are you kidding?" Vegeta yelled furiously, "My back will be killing me if you don't sleep on a bed!"

"Now I'm confused," Goku stared slack jawed at him, "So, you want to sleep on the couch?" Goku asked slowly, wincing while he waited for a reply.

"_No_," Vegeta seethed, "I want to sleep on a bed in my own body."

"This is going nowhere," Goku stated flatly as he slipped his shoes off, "I am going to bed. I am going to sleep on the left side of the bed. If you want to sleep on the couch or on the right side of the bed, go ahead. I don't care. I'm tired." With that Goku plopped ceremoniously into the king- sized bed, and closed his eyes.

Vegeta could actually feel smoke coming out of his ears, well, not technically HIS ear...awww, nevermind, you get the point. He looked angrily at Goku, who was sleeping on the right side of the bed. He shook his head in exhaustion and turned to the couch. He did a double take around the room. "There is no couch," he exclaimed to himself, stopping when he thought he heard a snicker from somewhere across the room. Vegeta glared at his image in the mirror. "This is all your fault." he sneered. Then he slammed into bed next to his own body and jerked the covers over himself. Goku stirred only slightly in his sleep.

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Vegeta awoke to the smell of coffee. Kakarot stood before him clutching a gray plastic tray covered in doughnuts and two steaming Styrofoam cups.

"Rise and shine," He greeted his groggy cohort with far too much enthusiasm.

Vegeta glared up at him, his eyebrows knit in annoyance. "Time?" Goku continued to smile down at him, eyes darting between Vegeta and the clock. It was blinking 12:00. "Damn!" Vegeta swore, staring at his empty wrist, "Where's my watch? That thing cost a fortune!"

Goku quickly slid his left arm out of sight. Becoming Vegeta meant wearing the expensive watch as well, the watch Goku was oblivious to until he got in the shower, until it filled with soapy water and stopped ticking the time for this and six other counties. "The sun is up, the sooner we get up, the sooner we can find those dragon balls," he piped, ignoring Vegeta's suspicious squint.

"I cannot stand your oafish form for another night!" Vegeta flared, grabbing six or seven doughnuts and both coffees. Downing them like a garbage disposal. "I'm even starting to eat like you!"

Goku stared sadly at the tray, two doughnuts left, of course Vegeta would only leave the two with pink frosting. The woman in the lounge was mad enough at him for taking so many doughnuts in the first place; there was no way he could get any more. Goku shrugged and gobbled the pink pastries quickly, an unsatisfied look crossing his angry Vegeta face.

"Let's go," Vegeta called, grabbing the dragon Radar and exiting the dingy hotel room in disgust. Vegeta popped his head back in the door to bark an order then popped back out again. Goku rolled his villainous eyes and tossed the ruined watch into the small plastic garbage can next to the dresser before leaving with a sigh. That night a very happy cleaning woman laid the watch out to dry and then took it to a local shop to have it fixed for fifteen dollars. The next day she sold the watch and bought a sports car. It was a REALLY nice watch.

Goku and Vegeta flew uncomfortably imprisoned in each other's forms. The dragon radar was a little more complicated than they thought. Vegeta finally found how to make it zoom in and then promptly forgot how to zoom it out again. It took two precious hours off their trip while they discovered yelling at it, banging it on a rock, and kicking it didn't make it zoom out either. Finally, pushing random buttons worked and they were on their way again.

Eventually, the two confidantes came to a halt outside a rather large city. Tall buildings gleamed in the evening sun and cars putted around everywhere. Goku quirked his face in distress and Vegeta turned the lips of Goku's youthful face up into a sneer of disgust. These cities were like human beehives to the Prince of all Saiyans and this was way out of Goku's element.

"I guess we should walk through the city," Vegeta stated angrily as he began trudging forward into the crowd.

"Just don't talk to anybody," Goku said, smiling widely so as not to draw attention to himself. Vegeta rewarded his silly grin with punch in the back of the head.

The two misfits followed the dragon radar through the crowded streets, ignoring the amused and befogged stares and discreet drug offers. They must have looked as out of place as they felt. Finally the radar began to beep softly in front of a rather large apartment complex that looked ready to fall down any second. The broken window and rotting brick were a sight for sore eyes. A board nailed to the front entrance had the word, 'abandoned' scrawled sloppily in spray-paint upon it.

Vegeta ripped the board off and entered the decaying building. Water dripped somewhere in the distance and there were feint coughing noises coming from dark corners of almost every room. Goku resisted the urge to grab hold of his own body and squeeze, but Vegeta was in it at the moment so he thought better of it.

Goku was startled by his own voice as Vegeta yelled to the sleeping peoples, "Have any of you bums seen a little orange ball with stars in it?"

Various grunts ranging from 'no sir' to 'go to hell' were heard. Goku was still flinching from the uproar. Vegeta had a way of ignoring tension.

They journeyed upward, wishing they had brought flashlights with them. The Dragon radar increased its beeping as the got to the fourth floor of the complex. "Well, it has to be here somewhere," Goku stated, ignoring Vegeta's 'no shit, Sherlock' look.

They looked around the rooms, finding nothing, not even a person huddled in the dark. Finally they arrived in a room where the dripping water seemed to be coming from; a foul stench filled the air. The Dragon radar was whooping wildly now so Vegeta turned it off, safely assuming they were going to find it anyway.

Goku scanned the room with squinty eyes, trying to see through the dark. He almost jumped out of his—well, Vegeta's—skin, when he saw the dark figure curled up in the corner. Vegeta saw him too, and he saw the orange dragon ball the figure was rolling in his gnarled hands.

"Give us that ball," Vegeta demanded, "it belongs to us."

"No, it belongs to us!" shrieked the huddled man in an eerie voice, "It is ours, our precious." The figure chortled.

Vegeta thought for a moment, déjà vu crossing over him. "Let me make you a deal," he wagered, "let us play a game of riddles. Whoever wins gets to keep the ball."

"Precious," The thing correct.

"Precious," Vegeta mocked, trying to appease the creature.

"I'm not very good at riddles Vegeta." Goku admitted weakly. Vegeta elbowed him painfully in the stomach. "S-s-sorry," Goku gasped.

The manifestation hobbled forward and looked Vegeta up and down. Of course, seeing Goku's gentle face, he agreed to the contest. "If we win, we get to kill you and eats you. Right?" It slurred greedily, reaching out to squeeze Vegeta's arm and receiving a sharp smack on the hand. It drew back in terror.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead and try it," Vegeta grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest.

"You go first," The thing gurgled.

"Okay," Vegeta smirked, "What moves eighty miles an hour and flies directly at your face?"

"Let me see," the creature thought audibly, cocking its head to one side.

"Time's up!" Vegeta yelled, "The answer is…my FIST!" With that he punched the critter in the nose and grabbed the dragon ball, exiting through a nearby window with Goku in tow.

"MY PRECIOUS!" The horrid thing cried through the window, "They stoles our precious!"

Vegeta laughed aloud all the way out of the city, ignoring Goku's angry protests and scolding. That was more fun that he thought it would be.

"Here," he said, tossing the starred ball to Goku, "But that in your ball sack, Kakarot," another bout of uproarious laughter bubbling into his throat. Goku dropped the dragon ball into his pouch then caught up with his amoral friend.


	7. Trouble On Its Way

Chapter 7: Trouble on its Way

Bulma and Chichi sat at the kitchen table in the Son house discussing the current events. Trunks and Goten were wrestling around in the living room where their mothers could keep their eyes on them.

"And then, do you know what he did?" Bulma shouted in mid-story, "He covered his eyes! Covered his eyes. Like I was some hideous beast!" She slammed her fist on the tabletop angrily shaking the teacups upon it.

"My goodness," Chichi whispered politely, pretending that she was shocked. Vegeta couldn't do anything that surprised Chichi anymore. Then she raised her voice to tell her story, "Well, Goku just knocked me down yesterday when I was talking on the phone," She exclaimed, "While I was talking to your husband no less!"

Bulma sat with a shocked expression on her face. "Why were you talking to Vegeta?" She demanded, completely missing the point.

"He called for Goku," Chichi waived her hand to dismiss Bulma's suspicion, "Then Goku knocked me over, like I was a sack of potatoes."

Bulma rolled her eyes. Both women were convinced their husband was the worst.

"By the way, where is Gohan?" Chichi wondered aloud, "I need to keep a tracking device on that boy."

"It could be arranged…" Bulma pointed out. Chichi actually contemplated the idea, but before she could respond, her eldest son walked in through the door.

"Gohan!" Chichi greeted, "where is your father?"

"and Vegeta?" Bulma added.

"I have lots of studying to do," Gohan said and started quickly to his bedroom.

"Hold it right there, Mister," Chichi bellowed, "If I know one thing, it's that when you _want_ to study, something is up. Now spill the beans, Gohan. What did your father do this time?"

Gohan scanned the room for possible exits. No good, the windows were closed and his mother was blocking the door. He smiled nervously and scratched the back of his head, looking like Goku more than ever. "Well," he began slowly, "Dad and Vegeta are taking care of some important business. They say they'll explain it when they return." Gohan grinned and turned to walk away.

Five minutes later, Gohan found himself staring up at Bulma and his mother whilst they both shouted at him for answers. It was all the poor boy could do to keep from covering his ears and curling into the fetal position.

"Where are they! What are they doing? Who are they with? Why didn't they tell us they were going? Is it dangerous? I'm going to kill him! Why won't you tell us Gohan!" They took turns harping at him.

Gohan felt his blood boiling. This whole situation had nothing to do with him. He resented the fact that Vegeta and his father were off on their own, enjoying the great wide open, while he was stuck at home with the two most frightening women on Earth. Possibly in the entire universe.

"Okay!" Gohan gave in to the torment, folding like a road map (awkwardly?), "They are both out searching for the dragon balls!"

Chichi and Bulma exchanged puzzled glances, turning back to Gohan for further explanation. Gohan simply shrugged, "They have the Dragon Radar."

"What are they calling the dragon to wish for?" Bulma questioned impatiently.

"I dunno," Gohan lied, "They wouldn't tell me!" Chichi eyed her son suspiciously.

"Well," Bulma said, an adventurous glaze in her eyes, "If our husbands think they can treat us badly, then leave on a vacation without so much as a word of goodbye, then we'll just have to go find them and bring them back."

"And then we can teach them some manners," Chichi added, slamming her fist into her palm. Gohan gave her a frightened look, scooting backward across the floor. "Gohan can watch the boys while he stays at home and studies."

"But Mom!" Gohan began to protest. Chichi cut him off with one finger in the air and a look that could have could have silenced the ocean.

"I'm going to go get the jet ready and pack an overnight bag for Trunks," Bulma said, leaving quickly. Her friend watched her go.

"I have to get ready, Gohan," Chichi said, helping her son to his feet. "I want you to make sure these boys stay out of trouble and I want you to study as much as possible. All the emergency numbers are on the fridge and I don't want you kids to have junk food every day, you can cook a meal or two. Who knows how long we'll be gone!"

Gohan rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and walked over to where his mother was angrily shoving clothes into a suitcase, "Mom, Dad said he was going to be home soon. You don't need to do all this."

"Yes I do, son. You'll understand when you have a wife," Chichi explained. Then she paused, "Actually, seeing that you and your father are so alike, you probably will never understand." Chichi sighed. "Just make sure you get a lot of studying in, please Gohan." She turned to him, pleading, "I'll make a scholar out of you if it kills us both."

"Thanks, Mom," Gohan said sarcastically, a concerned look suddenly crossing over his youthful face, "Promise me you and Bulma will be careful."

Chichi turned to her son to chide him for worrying but stopped when she saw the serious look of concern upon his face. "Oh Gohan," She sighed, stroking a hand down the side of his cheek, "You're a good boy. You worry about those books and those two boys. Bulma and I have been taking care of ourselves since before you were born. There's no reason to worry, and I know you're always just a phone call away. Now you've got your work cut out for you."

Gohan blushed and nodded, leaning down to kiss his mother on the cheek before turning to walk away.

Chichi watched her son happily for a moment before snapping herself back to the reality of the situation. It was time to go find her misfit husband and the deplorable Vegeta.

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Our heroes hovered agitatedly over a vast blue ocean. There was no land anywhere in sight, and the dragon radar finally started its loud, annoying alarm.

Vegeta switched the device off and tossed it to Goku. They both sighed, looking into the deep, murky waters. "This sucks," Vegeta stated exasperatedly, "The last one was easy, right there on the top of a mountain, no fuss. This is crazy! Who knows how deep this water is!"

"I don't complain nearly that much." Goku sighed, getting used to speaking in Vegeta's voice, "You need to practice being me more" he grinned.

Vegeta sneered at the man inhabiting his frame with animosity, "Shut up, Kakarot!" he spat, "Now who's going to dive down there and fetch that ball?"

Both men stared at each other wryly, determined to keep the clothes on their back dry.

Goku let a derisive grin spread across his face, making him look very much the part. "I know!" he spoke quickly, "Let's see who can find the Dragon ball first!"

Vegeta's face lit up—but it didn't lend to Goku's usual happy demeanor, "Now you're speaking my language!" He slapped his hands together. "I was a good swimmer before, but now that I'm in control of your larger body, you don't stand a chance!" Vegeta laughed happily and Goku joined in.

Both men looked at each other for a few seconds and then dove toward the surface quickly. However, Goku stopped just short of the blue deep drink, watching smugly as Vegeta lunged downward until he disappeared.

Goku waited a few minutes for Vegeta's triumphant return. A moment later he saw the orange ball floating up followed by a sputtering Vegeta, gasping for air.

"Ha!" Vegeta panted, "I kicked your sorry ass." He paused, his mouth hung open as he realized that Goku was dry as a bone. Goku shook with laughter, holding his sides in pain. Vegeta's face twisted from furious to devious in a matter of seconds. He reached his hand up to grasp Goku's unsuspecting ankle and pulled the now-smaller man into the ocean and held him under for a few seconds. Goku popped out of the water, spurting a stream of salt water from his mouth and coughing.

"Darnit, Vegeta!" He griped, slapping the water with his fist.

Vegeta belly-laughed and floated on his back across the water. Goku stopped glaring and started to laugh as well. Diving under and splashing around a bit. Both men seemed to forget their predicament for a few minutes to frolic in the deep before heading back toward the land to make camp. Not without a fish or two in tow, of course.

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Bulma and Chichi were heading out of the hangar at capsule corp. The bright yellow ship maneuvered easily through the air, piloted by Bulma. "Here we go," she said blissfully, "I know we're going on a mission with a purpose, but I just love road trips!" Her upbeat attitude was just the confidence Chichi needed for this adventure.

"Okay, I'm ready to find our wayward hubbies," She stated, "But how are we going to find them? I mean, Bulma, they could be anywhere in the world!"

"Well," Bulma piped, a sparkle in her large eyes, "Ya know how I said we could put a tracking device in Gohan if you really wanted to?"

"I was just kidding Bulma." Chichi said, her cheeks flushing with color.

"Well I wasn't!" The blue-haired woman stated firmly. "I learned a long time ago that Vegeta was such a hothead that there was no way he was going to come kiss me goodbye before every escapade."

"You mean," Chichi tittered, covering her mouth with her hand in shock.

"Yep!" Bulma laughed, "And Vegeta doesn't have a clue!" Bulma handed a small electronic device to her friend. Chichi examined the small box with a tiny blinking light on the screen, the word 'Vegeta-Scope' written across the top.

The women exchanged sly glances and laughed aloud. "Bulma," Chichi giggled, "I have never been so proud to have you as a friend! Now, tell me how you planted it on him and where!"

Bulma laughed evilly and began her story as they sped off toward the horizon.


	8. Digging at the Truth

CHAPTER 8: DIGGING AT THE TRUTH

Goku and Vegeta made camp on the shore as the sun set on the horizon. They hung their clothing up to dry. It was in sore need of a wash anyhow, but neither of them looked forward to how stiff the saltwater would make their gis by morning. They both had to admit that their wives and modern technology had made them softer and less suited for the rugged outdoors. Goku prepared the large fish they dragged back over the fire while Vegeta looked out to see from inside his bedroll.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Goku asked. He was clad in Vegeta's underwear only and resisted a shiver.

Vegeta looked sidelong at his own body and mumbled, "My thoughts are the only things I still have that are just mine. They are worth a lot more than a penny. So I'll just keep them if it's all the same to you."

Goku handed over a fish on a skewer made from a stick and Vegeta blew on it to cool the outside. Goku sat down with his own fish and took a monstrous bite. He spat the fish out everywhere and yelped, "My tong! I burd my tong!"

"You burned my tongue, you idiot!" Vegeta snarled, "It came right off the fire, what did you expect?" Goku waved a hand in front of his mouth and hissed. It pained Vegeta greatly to see what Kakarot was forcing his body to do.

They ate quietly for a while, the waves crashing gently on the shore providing a rhythmic background to their mastication. Goku kept his pointy-haired head trained on the sky above him as he ate, hoping to see another star and undo the silly body switch. He turned his head to his own body and stared at it. He couldn't help but find Vegeta much more palatable in his own friendly body. Perhaps that is what inspired Goku to attempt conversation. "You know, this is the longest time we've spent together just the two of us, Geta."

"Try not to remind me of my troubles right now, Kakarot."

"You know I didn't really wish to be you—like this. That star got it all wrong. I just wished I could be a little more like you. You have a lot of confidence and no one dares cross you. I feel like a lot of people stand around waiting to see what I will do next. I certainly didn't want to become you. I think I will think long and hard about the way I wish for things in the future." They sat in silence for a while. Then Goku added, "I really don't want to be you anymore. I had no idea how hard it was to be perfect all the time—to have to act regal and above everything. To be strong and brave at all moments and show no emotion! When Trunks looked at me with fear in his eyes, I realized that I may be a dolt, but at least my children don't recoil in horror when they think I am cross with them."

Vegeta tossed his fish onto the fire and said, "This conversation is over. I'm going for a walk. I can't wait to relieve you from the burden of being me. I didn't expect you to be able to handle it, anyhow."

He shoved his bedroll to the side and stalked down the beach. Angry at the ridiculous underwear he was wearing—boxer shorts with hearts all over them. He kicked at the sand and stared out at the water. He didn't believe in shooting stars and Kakarot tricked him into making a wish. He will never tell that third class bum that he wished upon the same star—to be more like Kakarot. He simply meant as a father, and he should have been clearer. Seeing Gohan and Goten on that camping trip with their father made his relationship with his own son seem lacking and cold. Goten fell asleep in Goku's arms one night by the fire and Goku's eyes shined with pride as he stared down at his sleeping child. Vegeta tried to feel the same way for Trunks and when he picked him up to carry him to bed but Trunks had squirmed from his grip and said he could do it himself.

Vegeta picked up a flat stone and skipped it across the water. It went a few miles out to sea before it finally stopped. He turned to head back to the beach and saw the camp fire dancing in the dark. He watched it a moment then squinted, no…it was the camp fire dancing, it was Goku! He was on fire!

Vegeta flew back to camp in a flash and realized that Goku was not on fire. His clothes were. HIS clothes. "MY CLOTHING!" Vegeta shouted, talking Goku and grabbing the flaming gi and rushing it into the sea to put it out. When he brought it back to the camp fire, there was nothing by a few burnt strips of fabric in his hands.

Goku gave Vegeta's face a sorry look. "I thought I would make it up to you by getting your clothing dry…I guess I hung them too close to the fire."

Vegeta let loose a sting of expletives, kicked at the sand and turned red in the face. Goku stood there looking guilty, "I'll go in the morning and find some clothing for you, okay Vegeta?"

"Damn right you are," Vegeta grumbled, "And breakfast. And coffee."

Goku nodded quickly and contritely.

Vegeta slammed into his Bedroll and laid his head down with a thud. He muttered, "If you weren't in my body, I'd beat you into the ground."

Goku gulped and slid into his own bedroll. He looked up at the stars and said under his breath, "Come on, come on. Come on shooting star!"

!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!

The sun was just rising on the horizon when Bulma and Chichi reached the beach where Goku and Vegeta made camp the night before. They landed a ways down and headed for the campsite. A line of smoke rose lazily from the firepit.

The ladies reached their sleeping husbands. Throughout the course of the night, Goku had rolled over and began snuggling Vegeta in his sleep. The beach grew cold last night and the lovable saiyan trapped in Vegeta's body sought warmth from the nearest source. Therefore, the scene on the beach was easy to misconstrue.

Bulma covered her mouth in shock and Chichi turned red in the face. She wasn't sure what her husband was doing out here, but she never would have guessed that he'd be sprawled on a beach in his underwear with his arms and legs wrapped around another man!

Bulma stomped her foot and turned to Chichi, "Do you think they are summoning the dragon just to wish us gone so they can live their lives together?"

Chichi said, "Well…you said Vegeta covered his eyes when you got naked for him, didn't you?"

Bulma gulped. "How did this happen?"

Chichi said, "Well, let's find out." She walked to the jet and grabbed a bag from the back and stalked back over. She kicked off her shoes and headed into the waves to gather water in the bag and tossed it onto the sleeping men. They woke up with a shock.

Vegeta looked at the women in front of him, forgetting that he wasn't in his own body, "Fool, what the hell are you doing?" he spat. He got to his feet and yanked the bag from Chichi's hands and stood staring at her, his chest heaving.

"Goku, you may have decided to be gay, but that doesn't mean you can just start treating me like this!" Chichi shouted, "I am your WIFE!"

"YOU are MY wife?" Vegeta shouted, then he realized how right she was. He sat down in the sand quickly, defeated by the truth of his predicament and overwhelmed by the night's events.

Chichi cocked her head and said in a quieter tone, "What has gotten into you?"

"Besides MY husband!" Bulma said in anger.

Vegeta's face went from furrowed in anger to sheer shock. Chichi's words seemed to translate for him and he said in complete bewilderment, "Gay? What?"

Goku sat in the sand in Vegeta's body, yawning and stretching. He reached down to rearrange himself and realized there were ladies present and hopped up to pull on his clothing. Luckily, Vegeta's outfit was not burned last night. He stepped into his pants and turned around to find Bulma inches away from him. "Why are you so quiet, Vegeta?" She asked suspiciously. Goku stammered uncomfortably in response.

Vegeta quickly realized he was all alone right now. He knew it was time to take charge of the situation. "Ladies!" He said sternly—sounding nothing at all like Goku, "Sit down please. I have to tell you something. Something….very hard to believe."

Neither woman moved a muscle. Vegeta's first response was to shout. But he drew from what he knew about Goku and swallowed his pride and said, "Please?"

The women sat on a nearby piece of driftwood, crossing their arms and legs and looking at him with their mouths drawn tight together.

Bulma said, "This had better be good."

'Vegeta' sat in the sand looking frightened and Bulma wondered what had happened to her husband. He looked downright meek. And Chichi was curious about her husband who was usually sweet to a fault.

'Goku' paced in front of them slowly, explaining the unbelievable predicament they were in. It was hard to take him seriously in his heart-covered boxer shorts and the seaweed tangled in his hair. However, an hour later, when he finished, they were no longer focusing on his garb. They were mulling over this highly unlikely situation. It all made the last few days become crystal clear. When the story ended, they sat quietly for a few minutes.

Then Bulma lifted her blue-haired head up and blushed bright pink. "That means….Goku saw me naked." She said, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

Chichi walked to Vegeta and looked down at him, "Goku?" She asked. He nodded slowly. She thought a moment and then pinched his ear hard and yanked him up and shouted, "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME AND THE KIDS HOME ALONE WITH THAT MANIAC?"

The mismatched warrior cringed and whined.

Watching this display in Goku's body, Vegeta felt a pulsing pain behind his eyes. He needed clothing, coffee, breakfast and headache relief. Thank goodness the women were here.


	9. A little hitch

CHAPTER NINE: A little hitch

It was almost like magic how quickly the women turned things around for their domestically challenged, body-swapped husbands. With supplies from the jet, Chichi had a fresh, hot breakfast well underway and a pot of rich coffee. Bulma had the men outfitted in Capsule Corp jump suits that had been stored in the vehicle.

Vegeta tugged at the uncomfortable metallic suit surrounding his awkward new body. "How can you stand these binding robes?" He griped. Bulma handed him a cup of coffee in an attempt to shut him up. She avoided looking directly at him. She couldn't seem to get it through her head that her husband was in the body of her long-time friend.

"How many dragon balls have you found already?" Bulma asked, pulling the dragon radar from where it lay in the sand. She shook it and water flew out of it in all directions. "You've got to be kidding me."

Goku drew open the pack where he kept the balls and counted them for good measure. "Four."

Bulma wasn't listening at this point. She was sitting in the sand with the dragon radar opened in her hand. She touched the inner workings with a small multi-tool. The machine sparked, popped and began to fizzle. "No no no!"

Vegeta watched his wife in horror.

Goku looked curious—he was determined to reshape Vegeta's eyebrows into a less threatening natural state of being. Vegeta had been working on his scowl for years and he didn't appreciate his sloppy friend messing it up. "Is it broken?" Goku asked the sailor-mouthed female.

Bulma turned to her husband's form and reminded herself who he was and held up the machine. Smoke steamed from it. "What do you think, _Goku_? Does it look broken? Why would you take it into the ocean with you?" She slammed it down into the ground. "It's going to take me a while to fix it. And I'll need to take it home to my shop."

"We don't have time for this nonsense!" Vegeta growled. "You need to fix it fast, Bulma. I've seen you fix things fast. And don't you have a backup machine?"

Bulma sighed. "Maybe. I don't know. Maybe in the garage." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Dammit, you guys."

Arms akimbo, Chichi surveyed the cluttered beach. "Since you men don't seem to be able to take care of things, here is what we are going to do. We are going to get off of this disgusting beach, book a nearby hotel, and spend the night to get cleaned up. Bulma and I have been traveling for hours trying to reach you. Then, in the morning, we'll head home and wait for Bulma to fix the dragon ball locator."

Bulma nodded curtly and added, "And you men can sleep on the roof every day once we get home and look for shooting stars. And you can wish yourselves back." Her voice was pregnant with sarcasm. It was clear she didn't believe their story. Goku wouldn't ever wish to be Vegeta.

"Let's hope you see _two_ shooting stars. You can make your second wish that we don't kill you," Chichi added. Goku gulped, Vegeta rolled his big eyes up to the sky dramatically.

They packed up the camp into the Jet and headed for a nearby town. Bulma landed in the parking area for large craft at a shabby hotel and went to the lobby. The others unpacked the bags—almost all of them Bulma's.

Minutes later, Bulma reemerged with two keys. The four walked to the rooms which stood side by side. They stared at the two green doors with dingy brass numbers. "How are we going to do this?" Goku asked innocently.

Bulma wanted to be with her husband, but not in Goku's body. Chichi was looking forward to scolding Goku for a good long while, but she didn't want Vegeta's smug face looking back at her. However, the prospect of seeing tears in his eyes did intrigue her.

With a sigh, Bulma made yet another executive decision. She handed Vegeta's body one of the keys and said, "We'll see you in the morning, gentlemen." And with that, both ladies entered their room, shutting the door behind them.

Shrugging and opening his hotel room, Goku was relieved to see two beds. Vegeta sat on the edge of the far bed and kicked his shoes off and then peeled off his socks, letting them land in the corner with a disgusting plop. Standing with a mighty stretch, he headed for the bathroom for a long overdue, hot shower. There was sand in his hair from sleeping on the beach and he couldn't wait to scrub the gritty feeling from his scalp.

Goku waited for his friend to disappear into the bathroom before he pulled out Vegeta's wallet, grabbed the phone and proceeded to order a feast from room service. When Vegeta emerged from the steaming bathroom, he found Goku stuffing food into his face by the fistful and watching television.

Tapping one foot pensively with a towel wrapped around his waist, Vegeta glowered at him. He missed the sanctuary of his own body—a temple that Kakarot was desecrating. There was something awful about washing Goku's body in the shower. It seemed wrong and oddly intimate. Goku continued stuffing himself with food on the bed. "Have some, Geta!" he offered happily.

Vegeta seethed. "Look at me! Look what you've made of me!" He gestured toward Goku on the bed, "I'm a slob! Food all over myself and look at my stomach, it's bulging! And I stink! I can smell me from here! Go into the bathroom and take a shower!"

The iconoclast blinked at him, looked down at his body and then back up and said "I will, once this show is over." He pointed the remote at the screen and cranked the volume. It appeared to be some kind of talk show or variety show.

"Television!" Vegeta huffed, sitting down on the bed wearing a look of disgust, "How can you sit around and stare at that infernal machine?"

"Quiet, Vegeta!" Goku scolded and turned it up a little more.

The television host stood with a cheesy grin and introduced a band that neither man had heard of before. To their credit, they didn't spend much time observing popular culture. The lead singer was a burly looking man in a t-shirt. He had tattoos running the length of both arms and his face was crowded with piercings. The band was called MURDERSTORM, and they started their first song. Goku covered his ears in shock. It sounded like pots and pans hitting a concrete floor combined with the cries of a baby. Vegeta was staring intently at the screen. He grabbed the hotel's complimentary pad of paper and pen from the bed stand and scribbled down the word, "Murderstorm."

"You _LIKE_this music?" Goku asked over the volume of the television.

"This is music?" Vegeta asked in shock as he yanked the remote from Goku and studied it for a second before hitting mute. The terrible noise subsided and Goku sighed in relief. "Kakarot, do you notice anything odd about this man?" He walked to the television and tapped it with one finger.

Goku looked at the TV and cocked his head a little to one side. "Well he has a lot of metal in his face."

"Look closer." Vetega urged. When Goku looked at the screen but came up blank, his royal cohort gave up and rumbled, "He has a dragon ball hanging around his neck!"

Goku sprung forward, knocking food all over the place and scrutinized the lead singer, "You're right!"

With that, Vegeta began digging through the shopping bags his wife gave him. The women had stopped at a store to buy clothing for their husbands on the way to the hotel. He dug out a fresh pair of underwear—without the little hearts, thank goodness—and stepped into them. He turned to look at Goku and found him picking up nachos off the floor and sticking them into his mouth. "Shower! Now!" He barked.

Goku didn't like being bullied, but hanging out with Vegeta almost guaranteed it. He got up and headed for the showers. He emerged a while later and found his friend all dressed and ready to go. He was wearing black from head to toe. "Vegeta!" Goku whined, "I never dress that dreary!"

"And I don't eat fried chicken out of paper napkin. We're even," Vegeta snapped, looping a belt through his pants. He wasn't a fan of civilian clothing. It reminded him of when his wife would force him to take her to restaurants in the city or to the loathsome ballet. "Get dressed, Kakarot. We need to go."

"Where?" Goku asked, dropping his towel in the middle of the floor and stretching, ignoring Vegeta's past lectures about protecting his modesty.

"To get the dragon ball," Vegeta said flatly, "Where else would we be going? We know where one is. It is perfect. We won't have to go home and wait for Bulma to fuss with the machine. We can go get this one and they can go home. No waiting around."

Goku was half listening, half staring at the clothing laid out on his bed. He scratched his head and said, "Did Chichi come over while I was in the shower? She always puts my clothes out like this."

"Put on your clothing," Vegeta said evenly. He had put the clothes out, afraid Goku would dress him like a clown.

Once they were ready to go, Vegeta scribbled a note to the women: "Went to find dragon ball. We'll be home to pick up the radar in a few days. –V"

He slipped it under the door and took to the skies. Goku followed him compliantly, tugging at the tight T-shirt he was wearing and wishing he could go back and tell Chichi in person about their plans. He was in enough trouble already without adding this!


	10. Murderstorm

CHAPTER 10: MURDERSTORM

Goku and Vegeta sped to the sunny city clear across the world where most of the famous people lived. Like most cities, causing uproar by flying around overhead was usually a bad idea. So they stopped outside of town and hoofed it. It was a big city.

"How are we going to find one little band here?" Goku wondered aloud, "every house is huge and surrounded by big gates."

Having been dragged on vacations by Bulma numerous times, Vegeta simply directed Goku to a strange little man on one of the street corners selling maps. He had a billboard with a huge star on it. The man flashed a smarmy grin as they approached. "What'll it be boys?" he adjusted his ballcap on his shaggy head, "I got maps to all sorts of stars homes. TV? Movie? Music? Something a little more….obscure?" He winked, eliciting a sneer of disgust from Vegeta.

"Oooo! Oooo!" Goku exclaimed, forcing Vegeta's compact form to jump up and down in excitement, "Movie stars! Oh no TV stars! BOTH!"

Vegeta put an arm out straight as a bar, clocking his own body right in the stomach and causing Goku to double over in pain and shut up—the desired effects. "Music only," Vegeta declared emotionlessly.

The man handed him a map and said, "Twenty bucks." Vegeta had stolen his own wallet back while Goku was in the shower. He produced it and shoved the Money at the man forcefully. "You sure you don't want the other ones?" the peddler asked hopefully. Vegeta turned on his heal and stormed away from the unpleasant salesman.

Stumbling a little, Goku followed the prince away from the corner and over to a quiet place where they could read the map. Vegeta turned to the glossary and scoured the page for Murderstorm. He found no such band listed under the M's. "Drat!" He exclaimed.

He crumpled the useless, expensive map in his hand and flung it across the park. He was about to go back to the map-seller and extract his twenty dollar bill. However, just as he was about to step out into the road, a bus rumbled by with an advertisement on the side for Murderstorm. They had a concert in town that weekend.

A wicked smile spread across Vegeta's face—an eerie sight for anyone familiar with Goku's normal disposition, "Okay, new plan."

******!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Bulma woke from a good sleep and zombied to the bathroom. She brushed her blue hair in the bathroom mirror after brushing her teeth and smiled a little at her own reflection. She had convinced herself that her husband was no longer attracted to her, but now she knew the truth. She wondered if Vegeta yearned for her in Goku's body. If he did, it would be impossible to get the stubborn, prideful man to admit it. She would wear something sexy today to torture him just a little, she thought. Just to prove it to herself.

She selected a strappy dress from her luggage and slipped it on. "Chichi," she called, "can you zip me up?"

"You have _got _to be kidding me!" Chichi hollered from the other room.

Bulma held her dress on and walked out to see if it was her simple request that had set her friend off—sometimes that is all it took! But she found Chichi holding a little piece of hotel stationary. "Now what?" Bulma asked, even though she already knew that this undoubtedly meant that her husband and friend had taken off without them. Chichi read the note aloud.

Sitting on the bed, her dress crumpling about her like failed pottery, Bulma sighed. She slipped the sexy dress up over her head and reached for her bulky cargo shorts. "No more Mrs. nice guy."

"What do you plan to do?" Chichi asked, hoping it had something to do with revenge.

Bulma pulled a sensible tanktop over her head and tucked it into her shorts. Then she slipped into her jacket. "We're going to give them a taste of their own medicine."

******!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Back at the Son house, Gohan had his hands full watching his young brother and Trunks. Trunks and Goten enjoyed sparring and their energy seemed boundless. Gohan spent every waking moment chasing after them and insuring that they weren't hurting each other. He made sandwiches, put on bandages, encouraged homework and struggled at bath time. He was discovering that his mother deserved a lot more credit than she received. He was even catching himself sounding like his mother—particularly when he was trying to the get the boys to sit down and eat.

It was well past their bedtime and Trunks and Goten were still pink from their bath and they were sparring in their pajamas in the living room. Gohan shined a flashlight on them and said "Bedtime!" He had to implement the flashlight, because the two tykes had already broken all the lamps. Gohan knew it'd be his neck on the line for that—but he hadn't had time to glue them back together yet.

He usually had no trouble with Goten, but when Trunks was around, Gohan could barely get his little brother to sit still for half a minute. He managed to seize the surprisingly strong little monsters by their pajamas after a few minutes and carried them into Goten's bedroom. He dumped them into the bed and said, "If you don't go to sleep right now, I will not let you share a room ever again." He wasn't a fan of threats, but he was happy to see how effective they could be.

With the children finally in bed, Gohan walked out to the dark living room and collapsed on the couch. A toy gun stabbed into his spine. Wrenching it from behind him, he tossed it to the ground. He was about to utter a very loud, very uncharacteristic curse word when the phone ringing interrupted him.

Not wanting the ring to wake the boys, Gohan raced to the phone. Of course, he couldn't see where he was going and stepped on one of Trunks' roller skates. It sent him flying into the wall and knocked the phone off the hook and into his lap.

The swearword made it out after all. "Mutherflucking son of—"

"GOHAN?"

Gohan stiffened and pulled the phone quickly to his ear. "Mom?" he exclaimed, trying to remain casual, "How is the mission going?"

His mother's voice cracked through the receiver, "What kind of language is that young man?" His only defense was to remain silent while his mother scolded him. He listened reluctantly and rubbed his back with his free hand. He was tired and sore and he wanted his mother to come home and save him. When she finally stopped her rant, Chichi composed herself and said, "How are things going there? Obviously not well if you are answering the phone like that. The boys had better be in bed."

"When are you coming home?" Gohan asked, "The boys are such a handful."

"I need a favor," Chichi said, ignoring her sons question and complaint. "I need you to go to Capsule Corp and find Bulma's electronics tool kit. Then I need you to bring it to us tonight. The dragon radar is broken."

Gohan balked, "How will I do that? I don't know where it is and what about the boys?"

Chichi sighed deeply, "Son, you've always been there to help your father when he needs it. This time I need your help. Please Gohan? Figure it out. I am sure you can find someone to watch the boys. We're counting on you." She hung up.

Gohan unwrapped himself from the phone cord and stood up to place the phone back on the wall. He looked at the mound of dirty dished, the living room was dark but he could make out the haphazard state of couch cushions, toys and shattered lamps. He wonders if he had the guts to ask Videl to babysit for him.

He has to choose. Should he disappoint his mother and fail to bring her the tool kit, or would he risk upsetting Videl and her father by asking such a huge favor of her.

Gohan hated to invite his girlfriend over to such a messy house to watch his out of control kid brother and his friend. However, perhaps bringing the tool kit to his mother would make her less likely to murder him when she would eventually come home to find her house completely trashed and his books completely untouched. He ran his tongue over his lips and then nodded in conclusion. It was far too late to call…but he punched in Videl's number anyhow and hoped she would be the first one to get to the phone.


	11. Everyone Should Just Say No

CHAPTER 11: Changed to remove offensive content.

Much to Gohan's tremendous relief, Videl answered the phone and not her ridiculous father. Hercule was under the impression that he was the strongest fighter in the world and that Gohan wanted his infinite wisdom. Also, Gohan didn't want to have to explain that he was hoping Videl would come to his house to spend the night. Videl seemed a little annoyed once she realized it was him, "I thought you were going to call me today. At lunch time."

Gohan slapped his forehead, "I'm sorry, Videl. I've been so busy today; I haven't had time to do anything."

"Had your nose stuck in a book all day, eh?" Videl assumed.

"I wish," Gohan sighed and was horrified to realize that he actually would rather be studying than running errands and keeping secrets for his parents and their friends. "I need a favor."

"You sound serious," Videl said, suddenly sobered of her anger, "I'll be right there." She hung up. Gohan leaned against the wall and sighed. This is why he loved Videl. Moments later she landed gently on his doorstep and knocked.

Gohan opened the door to his adorable, tough girlfriend. She was a lovely sight with her messy, cropped hair and loose, oversized T-shirt. He never wanted anything more than the comfortable relationship she offered him.

Videl looked around the domed domicile in shock. It was a complete mess. Gohan said, "My mother isn't here."

"Clearly," Videl snorted. Then she got an idea, "Oh my god, Gohan. Is this a booty call? Because you sounded really distressed and I'm not that kind of girl."

Gohan's face flushed red and he stammered to correct her, "N-n-no! Videl! No, gosh." He looked away a moment to regroup his thoughts. "I need you to babysit for me. My parents are in trouble and I only need a day or two to take them the supplies they need. But Goten and Trunks are here and I can't leave them alone."

"From the looks of it, all three of you can't be left alone," Videl clucked her tongue and walked to the living room, searching for a light, "Are all the lamps broken?" She asked, surprised and a little overwhelmed by his request.

If Gohan could have blushed any more, he would have. "I can pay you," Gohan said, "Please say you'll do this for me. I'll do anything."

Videl turned to him and flashed him an adorable smile, "Of course, Gohan. I'll watch them."

He hugged her so tight and spun in a circle, stepping in something gooey on the carpet. He sighed and wiped the chocolate pudding off his foot against the carpet. In for a penny, in for a pound. He picked up his flashlight and handed it to Videl and planted a kiss on her cheek, "Good luck. Don't let them push you around. I owe you big time."

He headed for the exit and Videl called after him, "Yes, you do. Be safe, Gohan!"

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Vegeta and Goku stood in a long line outside a box-office, waiting to buy tickets for the upcoming Murderstorm concert. Vegeta was beyond agitated. He didn't like waiting in line, or being in Goku's body, or hanging around this many humans. The humans that liked this band seemed extra terrible.

"I hate waiting in lines," Vegeta huffed, "What is it with Earthlings and waiting in lines?"

Goku was busy watching the group of teenagers next to him passing a homemade cigarette around. They caught him staring and one of them grinned at him and said, "Wicked hairdo, man," and handed him the cigarette to try.

Goku batted it away and turned to Vegeta. His stomach groaned with hunger. He clutched it and whined, "I'm hungry, Geta."

Vegeta stared him up and down and said, "Not now!"

Goku began to pout and look around at the food places nearby. He didn't like waiting in line either.

A smile spread across Vegeta's now adorable face. He had an opportunity to get rid of his constant companion for a few minutes. He opened his wallet and took out the last of his paper money and stuffed it into Goku's hand. It was worth it to have a few minutes of peace. He sent Goku across the street to get some food and wait for him. \

Finally, it was his turn in line. He walked up to the window and laid his gold card on the counter. "I need two tickets to that miserable Murderstorm concert," he said, "and do you have backstage passes for sale?"

"They are very expensive, sir," the young woman behind the counter issued a polite warning.

Vegeta held up two fingers and said, "I'll take two." He was never worried about money.

"Yes sir!" the woman chirped and punched in a few keys on the keyboard and took his card and swiped it through the machine. She made a face, "Sir, this card has been reported stolen."

"Ridiculous!" Vegeta said, swipe it again.

The woman swiped it once more through the machine. She looked up at him and quirked an eyebrow; her sunny disposition completely vanished. "Do you have some ID, sir?"

"This is a mistake," Vegeta said, pulling out his wallet finding the little plastic card that somehow proved identity to these humans. He handed it over to her, waiting for her apology.

The young woman looked from the card to Vegeta several times and then pursed her lips in anger, "This isn't you," she said in disgust, "I'm going to alert the authorities."

"Wait, wait, of course that isn't me!" Vegeta said quickly, "But he's with me." He spun around to look for Goku and remembered that he had sent him off to find food somewhere. "Blast it! Where is he?" Vegeta muttered. He turned back to the woman and said, "Give me those backstage passes!"

She hit a button that caused metal shutters to slam shut over all the windows. Vegeta shouted and punched one, causing it to buckle. He heard police sirens in the distance and took to the skies—no longer worried about what these earth people thought of him.

**!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!+!**

Bulma was tired of her husband assuming that she could be cast aside. She also didn't like the way _his highness_ was treating her like a piggy bank for his misadventures! So, while Chichi paced the floor of the hotel room until the carpet grew bald, Bulma spent an hour reporting every single credit card in her husband's possession as stolen. She was very satisfied with her plan to ruin his day.

She finished and turned to the Dragon Radar again. All the parts were laid out on the small dining table in the corner of the hotel room. They were completely dry now and Bulma thought with a little the help of her tool chest they would be up and running again. "Where do you think Gohan is?" She asked Chichi.

"What?" Chichi said, snapping out of her trance. Bulma's words sunk in and she sighed, "I don't know. It should be any time now." She drew back the heavy curtains and looked out the large window toward the darkening sky. She wanted to get the dragon balls badly. Over the years Goku found plenty of occasions to mess up. He had been killed, spent whole years in training, dragged her children into horrible battles and gotten himself pulverized time and time again. Sure, he saved the world in there a few times, but she had put up with more than most wives would have been willing to endure. However, she drew the line at living with him in Vegeta's body.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a streak in the sky. She ran to the door to greet Gohan as he arrived with the toolkit in his hand. "Hi, mom!" Gohan beamed as he landed and Chichi wrapped her arms around him tight.

"Gohan!" Chichi exclaimed, "You made it!"

Bulma took the toolkit from him while Chichi drilled him on the boys back home. He assured her that they were safe in Videl's hands for now. Gohan sat on one of the beds and said, "Where are dad and Vegeta?"

Bulma waved her hand around in annoyance and said, "Gone!" Her face was still down, trying to fix the radar.

Gohan turned to his mother and put on his serious voice, "Mom, I'm not great at keeping the boys entertained. Do you think you could come home now? Our house doesn't function very well without you."

Blushing, Chichi cupped Gohan's face in her small hands and smiled, "Oh Gohan, that is sweet. But you'll understand when you are married someday that I can't go home. Sometimes a wife has to prove to her husband that she can hold her own. And if your father thinks he can—"

"AH-HA!" Bulma shouted and leapt from the table, "It's fixed!" She held out the beeping radar for inspection. Chichi clasped her hands and gave up her lecture to Gohan in favor of a celebratory dance with Bulma.

"You know ladies," Gohan said quickly, "if you give me the radar, I'd be happy to go join Dad and Vegeta and help them recover the final balls."

"Gohan, you have to get home right this minute and rescue Videl from the boys," Chichi said, pointing to the door.

Gohan's jaw dropped, "I just got here."

Bulma pushed the teenaged half-saiyan toward the door and said, "You get home and take care of Trunks and your brother. Those boys are too much for one teenage girl to handle. Don't you worry about us; we can take care of ourselves."

There was little time to protest. By the time Gohan got a word in edgewise, he was talking to the paint peeling off the hotel door. He grumbled and took off toward home. As he soared off, he heard his mother shout something about studying and raised his energy level another notch so he could fly away even faster.


End file.
